Do you have a belief, a habit or a behaviour that you want to change? Is there something in your life or career that simply is not working for you, but you just can’t seem to change it? You keep going back to doing what you know? We all do it! Sometimes, we can see the signs clearly – yet we hang in expecting a different result. In your career it might be settling for a job or position for the money, even although you know you can reach for bigger and better things. In your life, it may mean adopting a way of communicating that clearly is getting you poor results, yet you just don’t know how to break the cycle and adopt change. Sadly, many of us try to change habits, beliefs and behaviours, but we end up going back to what feels safe.
Blow up that Bridge! Yes! I mean it. Contrary to what your Mamma told you it is OK to burn your bridges. In order to re-write your new destiny – you need to examine what’s not working and stop doing it before your new behaviour will stick. You get to create your future, and it requires adopting a mindset that will take you to your desired destination. Our brains operate mostly in the sub-conscious, where all the socialization, personality type and behaviours are stored – that’s why we keep going back, it’s familiar and it has worked for us in the past. Bringing your thoughts into the conscious mind, and thinking rationally about your decisions and behaviour can be the first step in the journey toward the desired change. It’s about being totally self aware at all times, and adjusting behaviour as you go.
Ok, positive talk is good, but that’s all it is – talk! You can walk around for years being a positive talker and sounding really successful (trust me guilty as charged) –yet somehow things don’t change. That’s because you need to re-wire your brain to accept the new behaviour and that means getting rid of the old and adopting the new. Next time you use your word processor, try asking it in a positive way to balance your books or create a presentation – go on, really try. Positive re-enforcement works right? Wrong! It’s not programmed into the software, so it just won’t happen. The same is true for your brain, you need to re-program, change the program before the new belief or behaviour will stick. Easily done right? Not so easy, it’s going to take a conscious effort to really look at what’s working, what’s not and having a clear plan. Here’s a fun way to look at a current behaviour and start the change process (baring all here, this is my own example):
|Current Reality (make it specific)||Current Behaviours||Current Outcome|
|e.g. I started writing a book/eBook and in 6 months have not completed anything
|Procrastination, limiting beliefs, distractions deliberate or otherwise.||Missing income source, missing speaking opportunities, missing out on list building|
Do this for every behaviour or belief that is holding you back… Questions to ask?
Why are you sabotaging yourself?
What is possible for you if you complete your book?
What fear comes up for you if you complete your book?
What Bridge can you Blow up right now that is not working for you?
Irene Anderson -cc